A Deconstruction of Flo-Rida’s “Whistle”

August 24, 2012 at 12:32 pm

Lol.

I’ll always remember the first time a Flo-Rida single landed on my desk.  I kind of thought it was a joke.  His logo was his name in the shape of Florida, after all.  And this song…”Low.”  Apple bottom jeans? Boots with the fur?  Surely, we’ve evolved enough as a society to reject this crap, right? Wrong.

“Low” was a monster mass-appeal hit.  Grandmothers have been spotted singing along.  And Flo-Rida has become one of Pop Radio’s biggest stars with countless Top 10 hits.

Which brings me to his latest, a subtle ode to fellatio titled, “Whistle.”

Let’s break down this gem that my daughters obliviously sing along to every time they hear it:

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Like I said…subtle.

(Look) I’m betting you like people
And I’m betting you love creep mode
And I’m betting you like girls that give love to girls
And stroke your little ego

Yep.  Every woman I know is a fan of creepy guys and will engage in female on female action without hesitation.  Extremely perceptive, Flo.

I bet you I’m guilty your honor
That’s just how we live in my genre
Who in the hell done paved the road wider?

The roads get paved in Florida? Now I’m getting a little jealous.

There’s only one flo, and one rida

Thank God.

I’m a damn shame
Order more champagne, pull a damn hamstring
Tryna put it on ya
Bet your lips spin back around corner
Slow it down baby take a little longer

I’m not sure what Flo is trying to get at here.  Is the champagne bottle a euphemism for his penis? If yes, it’s comforting to hear Flo ask to ‘slow it down’ lest he pop off early like the rest of us.

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

My daughters know this chorus by heart.  They sing it word for word.  My life can be horrific at times.

Not the whistle Flo wants you to blow, Ed.

It’s like everywhere I go
My whistle ready to blow
Shawty don’t leave a note
She can get any by the low

Shawty has made an appearance! She shows up in a lot of Flo’s songs! I guess I shouldn’t complain.  It’s refreshing that he doesn’t refer to his female companionship as a bitch.  Also, this is really about the time in the song where I begin to doubt Flo is rapping about referee accessories.

Permission not approved
It’s okay, it’s under control
Show me soprano, ’cause girl you can handle
Baby we start snagging, you come up in part clothes
Girl I’m losing wing, my Bugatti the same road

No idea what any of this means, but I seem to remember Flo getting a DUI in his Bugatti.  And who paints a Bugatti? Clearly, we’re dealing with an artist of a higher intelligence here.  I think it goes: Mozart, Lennon, Flo Rida.

Show me your perfect pitch, you got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out a candle

Blowing out a candle doesn’t take talent.  Jesus.

So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music
Hope you ain’t got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it

At this point, I’m more lost than the education system in Florida.

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I’m gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

A slightly less annoying Flo.

A repetitive pop hit? Well, I never!

Go girl you can twerk it
Let me see you whistle while you work it

Twerk is awesome.  Fun to say, too.  Kidding.  If I ever add the word ‘twerk’ to my vocabulary, kill me.

I’mma lay it back, don’t stop it
‘Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it on me
Now, shawty let that whistle blow-oh, oh oh
Yeah, baby let that whistle blow-oh oh!

Up to this point, I wasn’t sure what was going on but now I feel I can confirm that this is a song about getting a BJ.

And the chorus repeats about a dozen times more.

Quite a song for the Summer of 2012.  I see the locked out NFL officials using it as the soundtrack to a publicity Youtube video or, at minimum, stadium filler while a ref checks instant replay.  I wonder if any of them have ever had their whistle blown under the hood.

Enthusiastic picture of myself with the future President of these United States.